Poems
2013.
Life has only taught me how to be a feeler.
I am a master.
Now in this modern age I am a failure.
I see everyone I know speeding ahead of me in massive white yatchs with fancy colored flags cutting through the wind,
jolting me with their snapping sounds.
I sit back.
Collecting acquaintances and fake smiles,
undulating,
side-to-side,
but still.
Not moving,
not breathing,
feeling every single bump
in a jigsaw puzzle city waiting to fit into the right place.
A cozy home where I can take my wooden pieces of furniture.
Somewhere
where the sun will shine on my face on my way to work and I will never bump into an
old lover, or high school 'friend' and have to run behind a counter,
hide my sweaty palms because I'm too embarrassed to say,
yup
I work here.
This is how I pay my rent. And here you are, as a consumer, so easily wasting
your money on whatever place is crazy enough to hire my anxious hands.
When will I be ok?
When will I be chosen to have that place, where I can just glide, and have an honest
bright white smile?
I close my eyes and I see my family.
My brothers, my mother, my father.
They are not perfect by any means.
But I feel like I have failed them.
I am a master.
Now in this modern age I am a failure.
I see everyone I know speeding ahead of me in massive white yatchs with fancy colored flags cutting through the wind,
jolting me with their snapping sounds.
I sit back.
Collecting acquaintances and fake smiles,
undulating,
side-to-side,
but still.
Not moving,
not breathing,
feeling every single bump
in a jigsaw puzzle city waiting to fit into the right place.
A cozy home where I can take my wooden pieces of furniture.
Somewhere
where the sun will shine on my face on my way to work and I will never bump into an
old lover, or high school 'friend' and have to run behind a counter,
hide my sweaty palms because I'm too embarrassed to say,
yup
I work here.
This is how I pay my rent. And here you are, as a consumer, so easily wasting
your money on whatever place is crazy enough to hire my anxious hands.
When will I be ok?
When will I be chosen to have that place, where I can just glide, and have an honest
bright white smile?
I close my eyes and I see my family.
My brothers, my mother, my father.
They are not perfect by any means.
But I feel like I have failed them.
.:.